Craziest Side Quest I Have Ever Done

The woman at the desk pulls out a map and explains it like a quest briefing.

Drive to the next town.
Go to the market.
Buy fresh kava root.
Drive two hours inland.
Find the village chief.
Present the kava.
Ask permission to climb the mountain.

No kava. No climb.

So we do exactly that.

We buy kava without really knowing what it is. We drive inland on roads that barely deserve the name. Dirt, mud, streams cutting across the path. Our Toyota Camry has no business being there.

Eventually, we arrive at the village.

The chief walks up holding a machete. Fit. Serious. Not impressed. I ask if we can climb his mountain. He says yes. A guide appears from nowhere. We hand him cash. He immediately takes off uphill.

I have never seen someone move like this.

He cuts the trail with a machete while sprinting up steep jungle terrain. There is no trail. Just mud, roots, rain, and straight up. One wrong step would mean a very long fall.

Dylan keeps up. I absolutely do not.

I am in the back, gasping, wondering how this became my life. Somehow, we reach the top. The clouds break. The jungle drops away. We are standing at the highest point in Fiji.

We descend just as fast, legs shaking, adrenaline buzzing.

Back in the village, we meet the only other white guy there. He is wearing an orange safety vest, raking grass with leaves. He is from New Jersey. Peace Corps. He has been there for a year.

What does he do there?
He pirates movies and gives them to the locals.

Honestly, respect.

We thank the chief, take photos, get back in the car, and drive five hours through the dark back to Nadi. Exhausted. Quiet. Fully aware that we just did something we will never forget.